shapeshifters

they are capable of fitting in. they are adept at seeing what it takes to go with the flow and they morph into that being, doing just that, a human being what they think they should be to fit in and be loved. i learned the trick as a kid. i knew i would have to morph to fit in and be loved, because who i really was always got me into trouble. i married young and fit in for a long time with a massive amount of effort and alcohol. then when i woke up and said this will kill me quickly if i do not stop this, everything changed. my authentic susan self, became unacceptable to my partner and his friends who i mistakenly thought were mine. they did not want me to be different. so they sat me down and gave me hell and told me to go back to being the old susan or else. i choose the or else part. i see kids do this all of the time, shifting to find a secure place in a very insecure unloving world. feeling that who they really are is not lovable or acceptable or even tolerable. i wanted to be thin, and never felt i was, although in truth i always have been healthy. i wanted to be accepted for my wierd sense of joy and humor and loved for my heart and my smile, not what i do only , but WHO i am, really. everyone wants to fit in, everyone deserves to be who they are in front of everyone else all of the time, no more pretending or shifting or faking it, just be you. you are perfect in all of your glory and if no one else notices that, it is their loss. find the real you and you will find your group, i promise. i did.