are we adequate?

Actually we are more then that, yet many suffer under the illusion, that no matter how hard they try or what they do, or how they look, or what they earn, it does not measure up. I went through that with my marriages. Thinking somehow I was not measuring up to the standards of my partner. What I have learned is that it was the old perspective of less, lack and loss, I had learned as a kid spilling in to my adult world. I did not understand how that happened. Once I stepped back and  played the movie back I saw the seesaw of what had happened. I overcompensated for what I perceived as my weakness. I did for my partner what I wanted done for myself. Thinking that reciprocation would then occur. When it did not, I felt somehow inadequate, unable to measure up, undeserving and ultimately very injured. When I am hurt I get angry and after I vent, I disappear totally. Or I disappear them. I had to learn that I alone, with my own ways, was totally adequate and as soon as I got that, every around  would reflect that back to me. A guy asked me how big the engine was in my Jeep and I said the only thing I know about my Jeep is that it is white.  That in it's own way is adequate for me and I have learned that that is perfect, and perfect is good enough.