Cold and wintery arrival, dec. 20, 1957 and magically born under the spica star, just like the Christ was. Lucky me, and it would show itself as true and real all the days of my life. I would always have whatever I needed and just a little extra. That is the lot I choose in this lifetime. I have been blessed and am very aware and grateful.
As a little girl I was full of energy and willfullness. No one was around after my father passed on new years eve in 1959. Everyone took leave it seemed all at the same time, since right after the tragedy my mother left too. Later she told me it was to take her own life, but that is another story for another time. Needless to say she returned, this time with a stranger and he never left.
Now we are a new group, make shift and disfunctional. Only the stranger was kind, the rest of us were unhappy and willing to go rounds with one another. It challenged even the most joyful days.
My childhood was dramatic, that is what it took to get your share of my mother's attention. Drama. If you were in need, sick or injured you were worthy other then that there was no time nor interest. It appeared to apply to all three of us older kids.
By the time I was 10 a shift began and religion became the thrust of each day, not spirituality, not love, rules, regulations and sins, oh those horrible sins. My mother would lament the loss of her Jesus and the unsaved world that was never worthy in any way of her support. It was lost and in need of saving and she would save it if it was the last thing she'd do. I recall my only brother asking me once why our mother had the need to parent any one that wasn't in our family and we were left to our own diversions, who was she saving anyway??? And why weren't we worth her attention and love.
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